


Friend, Please

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I used grades, I wrote another story called mall trip, Not sbi or Tubbo, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27435886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It started in fifth grade.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Eret & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jack Manifold & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 13
Kudos: 567





	1. Friend, please remove your hands from over your eyes for me

**Author's Note:**

> Anything i write will be based on things that actually happened to me.
> 
> They might be ooc.
> 
> If they ever say their uncomfortable with this kind of stuff ill delete it. Also i dont usually curse so they may be used weird or “wrong”

Feeling like this wasn’t anything new.

_ Tommy was in the second grade. The school year was just starting out and he hadn’t made a single friend. Well, you could count his tablemate if you squinted. But Freddie hardly spoke to him (or at all really). _

_ This year they had two new kids joining their class. Maybe new wasn't really the right word, considering that they were only in his grade due to failing it the previous year.  _

_ The kids introduced themselves quickly. Tommy let his mind drift. He didn’t particularly care about who they were.  _

Really, who’d want to be his friend anyway.

_ Since it was the fifth day all they really did was have free time. The class practically teleported to the computers and ipads, people who didn't get one either sulked or shared with another person.  _

_ Tommy was one of the ones who made it to the computers. The smirk on his face was full of pride and arrogance. The pc he’d chosen was a bit slow but he didn’t notice as he pulled up ‘Cool Math Games’. _

_ Someone tapped on his shoulder, a short boy with fluffy brown hair and a dark green polo shirt. _

_ “Could i play with you?” The boy asked. His hands were messing with the bottom of his shirt. Green eyes darting around everywhere but the other kid. _

_ Tommy faltered before scooching his chair over to the right. “Sure! I've got the perfect game!” He said with a grin, adjusting the keyboard so he could type comfortably. The boy pulled up a chair. _

_ “Thank you, I’m Toby.’’ He said. “Can we be friends?” _

_ “Yeah! Im Tommy.” He put the keyboard back so they could both use it. The screen showed ‘fireboy and watergirl’ “I always wanted to play this. Just didn’t have anyone to play it with.” _

_ “Me neither” Toby said. They smiled at each other.  _

It shouldn’t have taken this long for him to get left behind.

_ They were in fifth grade now. The two boys were inseparable. Anywhere Tommy was you could find Tubbo. _

_ They were in fifth grade, and Tommy’s life seemed to go downhill. _

_ It started during the summer.  _

_ After becoming friends with Tubbo it became much easier to make more. There was one friend in particular who he was closer to then the rest (excluding Tubbo). _

_ Thunder1408. _

_ Tommy met him online on hypixel. They became fast friends. They called each other all the time. He could tell him everything and thought Jack shared the same sentiment.  _

_ Keyword is thought. The wifi was out at Tommy’s house the night it happened. He had service on his phone, but it needed to be outside for it to work so he didn’t bother. _

_ The next morning his wifi comes back. He has 4 missed calls from Jack, and sixteen missed messages. His face falls and he quickly presses the call button. Someone picks up. _

_ “Jack? Jack- are you alright?” Tommy asks worriedly. There’s crying on the other side. _

_ “J-Jack isn’t h-ere right now- h-hes-“ the crying gets louder. Tommy’s eyes widen. No, it can't be. He's not- _

_ The call ends. ‘Thunder1408 is typing..’ showing up on the screen. The time it takes for a message to come is painfully slow. His eyes get teary, and his hands shake so much he can hardly move his mouse. _

_ ‘he killed himself last night’ _

_ Tommy didn’t know how to react at first. Then he was angry. Angry at himself, Maybe if he’d used discord on his phone and went outside instead of sleeping he could have prevented this. Jack could be alive, they could be playing on skyblock right now and laughing at something tubbo said. _

_ He doesn’t realize how hard he’s crying, or that his nails are digging so deep into his arms that it makes them bleed. Doesn’t notice that someones speaking to him, or that his pcs shut off. _

_ He does, however, notice when gentle hands hold his, and fatherly arms embrace him from behind, how a hand stiffly places itself onto his shoulder. _

_ His crying doesn’t stop, but he becomes more aware. His hands slowly un-tense and are pulled away from his bleeding arms. _

_ “It's going to be ok.” Phil whispers to him. He cries harder. _

_ They were only in fifth grade. _

Everyone knew it was coming.

_ He’d gone to the funeral. Told himself he wouldn't cry, he did anyway. _

_ Phil asked if he wanted to go to grief counseling. He says no. Tubbo told him he liked his therapist and that it really helps. He still says no. _

_ It's been a month, school is starting up again. They don't talk about Jack. Phil says that having a counselor would be good for him. That they could go to his school during electives and talk. He denies again. _

_ It's been two weeks since school started. A month and a half since it happened. Tubbo lets him vent when he needs to. Assures him that it wasn’t his fault, that he couldn’t have known that it would happen. His grades don't drop- thinking about the disappointment that would cause being enough motivation.  _

_ It’s been 5 months. on the outside he’s accepted it. He was back to his old self, loud and confident. Laughing at his own jokes, playing games with his friends, getting mostly A’s.  _

_ But that's on the outside, Even thinking of his name made him cry and unable to breathe. _

_ Maybe if he’d done something- anything- Maybe he would be alive. Maybe Jack's family wouldn’t hate him. Maybe Tubbos smiles would be as bright as before. Maybe his dad wouldn't give him worried looks. Maybe his brothers wouldn't be so cautious. Maybe his friends would look at him the same- _

_ Maybe he deserves to be the same way as Jack. _

_ But he wouldn’t do that to his family. He couldn’t put them through this.  _

Now he would do what he should have so long ago.

_ So he found a different way. He searched the house for what he needed, finding most of it rather quickly. The last thing was the most important. _

_ “Hey Techno?” Tommy yelled while looking in drawers. “Yeah?” Technos deep voice called back. _

_ “Do you- oh, nevermind!” Tommy picks up what he's been looking for. Quickly running to the bathroom, he throws the stuff on the counter and locks the door behind him.  _

_ His eyes burn as he unscrews the razor. Why is he doing this? If they ever found out- _

_ No, no they wouldn’t.  _

_ He finished unscrewing it. The razor fell harmlessly into his shaky hands. Tears slid down his cheeks. He had to do this.  _

_ Slowly bringing it to his arm, he pushed in. His arm jerked away from the pain, a quiet whimper escaping his mouth.  _

_ Teeth clenched, he brought the razor back and cut painfully slow. The pain it caused was deserved in his mind. The first cut was painful but he kept going.  _

_ He made it to seven before there was a knocking at the door. “Tommy? You okay in there?” Wilbur said jokingly. _

_ “Fuck off Wil, I’m about to shower.” He called back, trying to make his voice steady. “Watch your language around your elders, Tommyinnit!” Wilbur laughs loudly.  _

_ Tommy breathes a sigh of relief, he hadn’t noticed. “You sound like Bad!” He yells, but Wilburs already gone. He washes off his arms and lets his mind drift.  _

_ Blood stopped flowing out a bit ago. The cuts weren’t very deep so hopefully they wouldn’t scar. He wipes off the counter and buries the napkin in the trash. _

_ Hopefully the cuts weren’t easily seen. A long sleeve is definitely necessary. Either way, Tubbo was definitely someone to look out for.  _

_ He quickly walked into his room and collapsed onto the bed. Sleep was calling out to him and Tommy wasn’t one to ignore it. _

Dying has never been so appealing

_ A year passed, they’re in the sixth grade now. The cutting has only gotten worse. He just won’t stop thinking. _

_ He can’t take this anymore. The pain in his chest is only getting worse.  _

_ Phil hugs him goodbye, giving him money for lunch. He doesn’t bother hiding it this time. The only thing he wants to do today is speak to Tubbo.  _

_ The walk to school is rather boring. Scanning the area, he spots fluffy brown hair and an oversized green sweater. “Hey, Big T!” Tommy yells, running over. _

_ Tubbo turns at the sound of his nickname. “Tommy!” He yells back, dragging out the end. “The english teacher was being a bitch-“ Tommy snorts “-and docked points cause i spelt ‘weird’ wrong! Like, hasn't everyone?” Tubbo fiddled with his folded paper, a frown on his face. _

_ “That’s fucked, but didn’t you still get an A?” Tommy asks with an eyebrow raised.  _

_ “Well- yeah, but he still docked points unfairly!” Tubbo defends. Tommy rolls his eyes, “You should’ve just started stabbin’ shit.”  _

_ Tubbo groans,” You say that about everything, Tommy!” The blond boy just grins. _

_ They head to their shared homeroom class, Splitting up when Tommy needed to go to the bathroom. He planned to quickly go then head to class. His classmate disagreed..  _

_ Tommy was drying his hands when another person came into the bathroom. He didn’t really care who it was and made his way out. _

_ “‘Ey Tommy!” The boy slung his arm around his shoulders. Tommy tensed when realizing who it was, a boy named Ryan. He kept stealing Tommy’s money. “We can skip all the usual today, just hand over your bag, k?” _

_ Tommy glared and got a sudden wave of bravery. “Fuck off.” he spat. Ryan glared back, leading them to the back of the bathroom.  _

_ “Got some balls on you today, huh?” He shoved him towards the wall. “I’ll just take the bag then.” _

_ “Fuck you, bitchboy. You ain't gonna touch my shit.” Tommy’s hands gripped the straps of his bag tighter.  _

_ “You kiss your mother with that mouth?” The Ryans grin fell, “I’m gettin’ real tired of this, just hand over the bag or I’ll beat the shit out of you.” _

_ Tommy holds his ground and stays silent. His eyes dart to the door for a second contemplating escape. _

_ The boy, with no warning at all, punches him square in the jaw. Not one to be a pussy, Tommy retaliates by kneeing him in the stomach then elbowing his face, something he’d seen Techno do and made easier by the height difference.  _

_ While the boy was distracted, Tommy made his escape. “Go kill yourself, gaywad!” The boy yelled as he left the bathroom. Using gay as an insult? Fucking pathetic. _

_ He chose not to think about the first three words. _

Phil would be sad, but who else?

_ After his little skirmish, both him and the boy had been sent home.  _

_ Techno was the one who had to pick Tommy up. There was a bruise forming on his face. They sat in silence most of the ride. _

_ He was staring out the window watching all the cars go by. “Did you win?” Techno asked, making him jump. “When has Tommyinnit ever lost?” He says with a smirk.  _

_ “Can't argue with that.” Techno shrugs before ruffling Tommy's hair. As a result, he bats away the hand. _

_ Big mistake. _

_ Technos breath hitches and his hand freezes. Tommy looks up at him curiously, “what?” Tommy asks. _

_ The pink haired man stays quiet and pulls into the nearest parking lot. Tommy is starting to get incredibly confused. “What is that?” Techno asks. _

_ “I’ve got no idea what you're talking about, Mr.Blade! I think you got ghosts in de ed-“ “Don’t act like you don't know.” He goes silent at how serious his older brother sounds. _

_ “I genuinely have no idea what you ar-“ Techno reaches over and grabs his hand, pulling up his sleeve. “This!” He yells. Tommy is stunned into silence. _

_ He tries to pull his arm back weakly, but it’s too late. He’s already seen it. _

_ “I- I dont-“ Tommy tries to come up with something but he can't and oh god he's seen it. _

_ Tears well up in both of their eyes, “Tommy, please, talk to me.” Techno practically begs, hands gently grazing over the cuts.  _

_ “I’m sorry! It- it wasn't supposed- I didn't mean for it to- i'm so sorry” he sobs. Techno let go of his arm to hug him. It was a bit awkward but they made it work. _

_ “Shh- Tommy we- we can talk about this at home, okay? We're almost there.” He tries his best to sound comforting. _

_ They hug there until he stops crying, Phil must be worried sick. _

_ Oh shit. _

_ How was Phil gonna react? _

“Leaving is the hardest part” Then why was his best friend gone?

_ Phil felt like a failure of a father. He knew his youngest son wasn't alright, especially after Jack. But he hoped that Tommy would come to him on his own. _

_ He shouldn’t have waited. If he didn’t wait Tommy wouldn't be sobbing in his arms with a Technoblade who was clearly worried. _

_ Phil didn’t let himself think of what he could’ve done and instead focus on the kid who so clearly needed comfort.  _

_ “Hey Toms, it's alright. I’ve got you, we’ll get through this. You're such a good kid, Tommy. I’m so proud of you.” He held him securely in his arms, fingers running gently through his hair. He motioned for Techno to get an ice pack for the boy. _

_ Tommy fell asleep, and Phil continued to hold him in his arms. _

_ - _

_ Tommy had to go to school the next day, but Phil said they’d talk about a therapist afterwards. Yeah he wasn't looking forward to that. _

_ Tubbo was looking around frantically. Right, Tommy forgot to tell him that he got sent home. He ran up to the shorter boy. “Hey Tubbo.” He waved slightly. Tubbos eyes shot over. _

_ “Tommy! Wilbur told me everything- I thought you would tell me if you were- if you felt- we made a deal!” He looked just about ready to cry. _

_ “It's fine Toby, I’m going to see someone about it alright?” He smiled down at his worried friend. Tubbo hugs him tightly in response. _

_ “You’re my best friend, if anything happened to you I’d actually die. So please.. if anything happens or you need to talk or a hug- come to me, Freddie or Eryn. We're your best friends, we won't be mad. I promise.” Tubbo stops hugging him to look in his eyes. Tommy feels like crying again.  _

_ “Of course Tubbo, I'll come to you guys.” He says with a grin. _

Each second he was still breathing was a waste.

_ They were in the seventh grade now. It's been a few months. Tubbo checked on him every now and then, but he was doing way better. He’s learned how to cope with losing Jack after two years and he’s 5 months clean. _

_ Tommy stopped going to the counselor, he really didn’t like it but it helped a little. Maybe lying to her wasn’t the best option. _

_ But besides that he has gotten better. His smiles and laughs are a lot more real now. Things felt like they were getting better since that night.  _

All he wanted now was a hug.

_ They were in eighth grade. Then they were in ninth, then tenth.. _

_ Eleventh grade. _

_ They were sixteen. 3 years have gone by. Freddie and Eryn haven't spoken to them in months. Too busy to speak to them. Tommy and Tubbo were closer than ever. The boys told each other everything. _

_ Tubbo was uncertain. He branched out and made other friends. Dream, Schlatt, and Eret. He loved hanging out with them. _

_ Tommy was tired of him, he was sure of it. The taller boy sounded unenthusiastic during calls, looked longingly at the cafeteria doors in lunch, never seemed to stick around after school. He had to be getting annoyed at Tubbo. _

_ Right? _

Someone to tell him that it would be alright.

_ So he broke it off. He messaged Tommy that it’d be better for both of them if they stopped being friends. This is what was best for Tommy. _

_ Tears rolled down his cheeks as he called Eret. Loud sobs shook through his body. This was for Tommy. _

Even now, standing on this bridge with his phone in hand, he waits for a call he knows wont come

**_Tommyinnit:_ ** _ toby? _

**_Tommyinnit:_ ** _ your joking rught _

**_Tommyinnit:_ ** _ thid isnt true _

_ Tommys arms shook as he read the messages from his best friend. He knew it. Someone as good as Tubbo would never stay his friend. Why did he ever think otherwise? He screws everything up. _

_ He had always messed with Tubbo. Yelled at him. It was only a matter of time before he left like the others. _

_ Old thoughts came to the front of his mind. God, why did he have to be so- so loud, and childish, and annoying! Why did the group have to stay with him for so long? To taunt him? To make it hurt worse when they all left? Maybe he deserves it. All this shit happened to him for a reason. Some sort of punishment happening to the people he cared for and to him and it was all his fault- _

_ Tommy picked up his phone and made his way out of the house. No one cared for him anymore, not Tubbo, not Wilbur or Techno or- _

_ Or Phil. _

_ More tears came at that. His own father didn't care. He made his way to the bridge that was nearby. A twenty minute walk. When no one cared there was no one to put through anything he had been through after Jack.  _

_ The phone lay still in his pocket, no notifications telling him that Tubbo hadn't meant it. He so desperately wants some comfort, the thought that he would hear his family one last time being enough. _

_ He stood at the bridge. _


	2. Friend, please don't take your life away from me

His finger hovered over the call button. His family was first. It was only twelve but no cars drove by. He bit his lip and pressed it.

The ringing only went by three times before someone answered. “Tommy? Why are you calling me, we're in the same house?” Phil asked sleepily,

“Yeah uh- I just wanted to tell you that I love you- and you are the best dad. I appreciate everything you've done and- and that- I really want you to know how much you mean to me and that anything i do isn't your fault. You care so much about- about Techno and Wilbur- and tell them that i love them so much, and you all helped me so much more than I deserve. Tell them I’m gonna miss them and that- I’ve looked up to them so much- all of you- that they should really get their shit sorted out-“ “Tommy where are you?” Tommy was crying and shaking so much he's surprised that his phone hasn't fallen yet. 

“Phil I’m- this isn't your fault, okay? I love you.” He pulled the phone away from his face. “To-“ 

Time to call Tubbo.

The phone rang five times. He didn’t pick up. It rang twice. He picked up this time.

“Tommy please, I-“ “Hey Tubbo, I know we aren’t- that we- You’re my best friend, Toby. I want you to know that even if you don't- I care so much about you. We’ve been through so much together. I miss fifth grade, before all this. I can't imagine-“ Where are you, Tommy?” Tubbos voice cuts in shakily. 

He sucks in a breath, “I’m at the bridge by my house, but don’t bother. You won't make it.” The familiar sound of a keyboard makes its way to his ears. He hangs up quickly.

Tommy places his phone on the ground and makes his way to the edge. He leans against the rail for a bit. He’s actually doing this. 

His heart pounds and his palms sweat. The sound of a car makes his head snap over.  _ Oh _ . It's just some guy in fucking sunglasses at night. He turns to the edge again with a smile on his face. Static fills his ears as he places his hands on the one thing keeping him from death. He hauls himself up and leans forward-

Until something grabs his shirt and pulls him back. A yelp leaves his mouth as he's pulled into the man with sunglasses. 

There's another man there with ginger hair and white streaks. “Eret has him Tubbo.” The guy says into a phone. Wait- Tubbo?

“What the fuck.” Tommy lets out weakly. The adrenaline goes away and his eyes droop. He hears another car and a faint ‘Tommy!’ before he passes out.

-

When Tommy wakes up it's in the arms of Wilbur. He groans slightly before rubbing his eyes.

“Hey Toms.” Wilbur smiles gently at him. “It's only been five hours.” He says. Tommy nods slightly and closes his eyes again. He was really tired.

“I love you, Tommy.” Wilbur says and starts humming something that sounds strangely like hallelujah. “I love you too.” He replies before drifting off again.

They weren’t in fifth grade anymore, and Tommy was okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and chapter is from friend, please by Twenty one pilots.


End file.
